Personalised Face Doormat Get some sweet, harmless revenge with our personalised doormats. Now all you need is a pair of ginger balls to go with them for a culinary genital match made in Heaven.
When you’re ready to repot your plants into something more fitting (coming soon: the Firebox terracotta vagina), the magical eco-friendly cube will slowly decompose and turn into valuable coconut fibre fertiliser for the plant, enriched with all sorts of stuff that makes chillies fully erect big and handsome. In a few weeks, you could be slicing your very own scarlet bellend into a sexy stir fry! Nice. Pop it in a bright, warm place and keep watering every so often to keep them moist - in 12-18 days, you’ll be seeing a red cock rising out of the soil. If you actually have one of those on your knob, please see a doctor, you may be at risk of being diagnosed as a plant.Īll you have do to bring your willy chillies to life is open the cube and pour a little water on the pre-planted seeds. Except for the little green bit on the stem, obvs. This is no bird-of-paradise-flower-situation, these spicy red numbers are unmistakably penile from head to shaft. Spicy bellend! No, it’s not an STD, it’s the organic produce from our super easy Grow A Dick Kit! This sassy little cube has a big surprise inside: spoiler alert, it’s everything you need to grow a girthy batch of capsicum annuum - AKA phallic chillies!
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